Relationship Marketing

I don't think it's a stretch of the imagination to say that my generation (20 somethings) is pretty public with personal information. Facebook is replete with information about our likes, interests, desires, relationship status, etc. It isn't a bad thing per se, but we've become so interested in marketing everything about ourselves, that some of us have developed a thirst for external affirmation. I might post a youtube video, and I love that I get so many "likes" for it. That means it's an awesome song right!?!?!? Of course it is...because I posted it. I post pictures of a vacation, and all kinds of people comment on how awesome they are, and I sit there smugly thinking "why yes, yes they are".

It's human to seek out approval, as social beings we desire it. But when that desire becomes a need that we subconsciously crave, that's not so good. From my own experience, I think I got that craving specifically in my last relationship. We had pictures taken of us, we posted about each other and we got a bajillion likes and all these comments of "Oh, you two look so cute!", "You look so happy!", blahblahblahblahblah. And I looked at those comments and thought "Yeah, we do look cute", or more importantly; "I am happy with her" (which I wasn't). I depended so much on positive affirmation that I ignored my real feelings.

This has made me pause and think about the nature of our relationships. I think that a lot of people want their relationships to work so badly that they post every picture of themselves together so they get that positive feedback. Perhaps it isn't bred out of a conscious sense of doubt, but rather a conscious desire for something to be. Again, it isn't a bad thing per se, but it certainly should not be the focus.

The positive feedback is very important. If "the people" approve, then it affirms what you know or desire in your heart. In trying to diagnose where I went wrong in my previous relationship, I think the strong personal focus on positive feedback was a capital error of mine. I got so caught up in the "relationship marketing" and completely lost sight of the journey in formation for the vocation of Marriage. 

As a young generation, let's try our best to avoid the "relationship marketing" for the sake of the "like" or "comment" and focus on what is true, good, and beautiful about our relationships. Focus on the person we are with: is he/she good for me? Am I happy? Those are the most important questions for us to ask ourselves. If we are happy, and if our significant other makes us want to be better versions of ourselves (saints), we are well on our way to attaining the will of God. It brings peace to me to know that I don't have to market my relationship for personal affirmation. It can be done out of a desire to share those posts and pictures with joy, and the "likes" don't matter so much anymore.