Let go of the rock!

After Mass this morning, as I returned to my bedroom to change into some more comfortable clothes for my day, I just happened to glance out of the window. In stark contrast to the blanket of white that covered everything that I saw initially, what really caught my eye was a very beautiful squirrel that was "hanging out" on a tree right outside my window. I dropped what I was doing to watch him, and I saw him jumping from branch to branch, from tree to tree, until he was able to simply climb down to the ground and go on his way. I was very struck by this scene, a gentle reminder of something that has really been gnawing at me lately.

This week happens to be National Vocations Awareness Week, and as I have been rather half-heartedly discerning a religious vocation for a while, it has struck me that this year my birthday has also fallen during this week. I know that in my own life, I have reached a point of definite restlessness as to where God is leading me in my life. I have gone through a major career change, moving home with my parents, during this year, and it has brought along with it a desire to move forward in discernment, as well as a fear of taking steps in that direction. I know that taking steps to discern with a particular community (I have one in mind that I have visited multiple times) will allow me to truly discern if that is where my life's peace will come, and yet fear takes over, leading to selfishness and walking in the opposite direction.

So, why did the squirrel bring this all back into my mind? My friends in Communion and Liberation (CL) were talking a few weeks ago about a reading in our current book, The Religious Sense, by Fr. Luigi Giussani, in a place where he speaks of a rock climbing trip he took, where he became so overcome with fear that he would not let go of a rock, literally! He held on, even though all those with him even offered to carry him the rest of the way. But he let fear take hold. The evening of CL when we discussed this, we continued to say, "Let go of the rock!" and how that applies to our life. It was also pointed out that if we don't let go of the rock, how can God give us all that He wishes to give? In other words, if my hands are grasping something, how can they be open to receive gifts?

That squirrel in my yard, jumping freely from branch to branch, didn't doubt what was on that next branch. It didn't doubt whether or not it could make the jump, whether it had the strength. It just jumped, trusting that everything would work out for the best. That is a reminder for me to let go of my rock, to trust in God's providence for my life, and to be open to what comes next, not holding on to what is in the past or what I have right now. I have already learned, from my own present experiences, that holding onto the rock will honestly lead to selfishness, a lack of excitement for life, and a lot more doubts!

So, needless to say, yet another reminder of God's grace in my life! Hopefully the grace to open my heart more to Him and to His love. And God-willing, hopefully the grace that when I get back from the Pilgrimage for Life next week, I can once again take the plunge to visit this religious community, this time with an open heart and not my own self-control and fear. Any prayers would be appreciated, and I hope that you also can let go of whatever rocks you are holding on to!


Image Source

The story paraphrased in this post can be found on p.129 of The Religious Sense by Fr. Luigi Giussani.

Begging for Priests

This is an older post from another blog, but it is a post I re-read frequently because it helps me to reset my attitude and stance in prayer. My "laundry list" of intentions transforms as I humble myself to a beggar's pose, totally relying on Another, because I cannot do it alone.

And today is Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday... so join us in begging for priests!

*****

Begging for Priests

Most of us resort to begging only when necessary. We see it as a last resort when all other efforts fail. The teenage plea for money begins with flattery then shifts to the use of reason followed by an emotional campaign and, when all this fails, the whole thing collapses into shameless begging.

It's not so different from the way we often approach our relationship with God. Begging is a last-ditch effort to get what we want. But I want to suggest that we take another look at where begging should fall in the timeline of prayer.

Clearly, begging begins with the recognition that what we need we cannot get for ourselves. For this reason I think it should be the first step of prayer rather than the last. To beg is to be aware of what we are capable of and to be aware that we are utterly dependent on Another.

With this in mind, I want to encourage all of us to start begging the Lord for priests. I hope that the religious sisters and brothers will forgive me for being exclusive here, but one of the clear desires that has emerged from the voices of our people is the desire for more priests to tend to our pastoral needs.

So as intelligent people, aware of our own limitations, let's start begging the One who calls young men to be priests. Lets not be too proud to beg and let's not think that we can do this on our own. God calls men to be priests. We can do what we can to help them to hear that call, but we cannot substitute ourselves for the voice of God.

So I am asking you to beg. Specifically, I am asking you to beg every Friday at noon. If you are in adoration, beg for priests. If you are sitting at your desk at work, beg the Lord for priests. If you are in Evansville and you hear the sirens going off for the emergency alert testing, beg the Lord for priests.

Then, once you have begged for priests, consider what you can do to help these young men hear that call. Our diocese needs priests and it needs beggars who are humble enough to recognize that only God can provide this gift.

This is not an act of desperation, it is an act of faith. So Friday, noon, wherever you are...stop and beg for priests.

*****

Fr. Alex Zenthoefer is the Director of Vocations for the Diocese of Evansville... with many other duties and titles, too. Read more of his blog here.

Spiritual Compass

It's funny how life works. I was set on one way for all my life: The Catholic Priesthood. And now, at twenty years old and a sophomore at a college seminary, I have discerned to leave formation. Now I'm stepping out into uncharted waters, "putting out into the deep" as it were. I am learning that I can never be too sure of myself as far as my direction in life. Why?

"The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes..." (John 3:8)

God's will directs us in ways that are alien to us. His ways are not our ways. I am learning that if I choose to be directed and not turn my "sails" against his desire, fighting it, but letting it take me where He wills, then I derive a much greater peace.

We can never stop listening to how God calls us to live every day of our lives.

Listening in prayer and being attentive to the things that go on every day can be great indicators of the direction God is directing us to go. Docility, honesty, and a keen ear for listening are key ways to know where God wills us to go. Where will He take us next?