Generosity: The Antidote to Independence

"America: the land of the free and the home of the brave."

Independence is something we celebrate, and rightly so.  Our freedom is given by God, recognized by man -- and the continuation of that recognition is key. But I think that sometimes -- for me, at least -- too much value is placed on independence in the wrong circumstances. Lately, the difference between independence and freedom has become increasingly clear to me.

Growing up, I always saw independence as something to strive for, something to earn that meant I had finally "made it." I longed for the day when I wouldn't need to have someone to drive me, or sign permission forms, or provide for my every need. Later, I longed for the independence of having my own classroom, without a professor popping in to check on me. Then, after spending two years living with my family, but working full-time, I longed for true independence: my own home.

At the end of the summer, I purchased my first home. The first week of August, I moved in; school began the second week. In the meantime, a close friend accepted a job nearby and also moved into my spare room. It was a whirlwind to say the least... and I could not have done it on my own.

I find it beautifully ironic that my first month of "independence" has been the biggest testament to the fact that I am created to be dependent on others... and on Another. In my stubbornness, I tried to be independent. But I have been struck by the generosity of others. For example:


- Two friends surprised me when they showed up at my house after an evening of bowling to help me move -- at 11:30pm on a Monday! (One was also preparing to depart for her study abroad, which made her sacrifice even more beautiful.)

- Two friends gave up their Saturday morning to switch out an old washer and dryer for newer appliances. They came at 8am, disassembled the banister, removed the door, switched the appliances (carrying them up the stairs by hand), hooked everything up, and reassembled the railing with some minor repairs to make it more stable... all in just about an hour. Payment? A glass of water and a promise of a return favor sometime.

- I came home from running some errands one Saturday to find my neighbor mowing my lawn... weed-eater and everything. "Hi, I'm Tim... figured you didn't have a mower yet. Welcome to the neighborhood."

- An elderly gentleman down the street came to the door to ask if I went to church and to invite me to the Baptist church down the block where his son preaches. His wife has Alzheimer's, and his daughter came to stay with her while he went out to visit -- and he took that time to come to meet me and evangelize!

- I needed some help with a particular struggle and asked my pastor if he had any time "in the next week or so" ...and he made time the next morning, on his "day off," when he was leaving on vacation the next day.


These are just a few of the many experiences recently that have given me a much-needed reminder that I do not make myself. If I am here, it is because there is Someone else making me. If I do something, it is because of Another who gives me the opportunity. I so frequently get caught up in "chasing the dream" that I lose sight of Him who gives me my desire and the means to pursue. I am so grateful for these reminders and all the people who have been given to me to help me on this journey... because, really, I need their help.

May we all discover the freedom that comes with being wholly dependent on Him who gives us every moment of every day!

A Simple Gaze

Lately, in my group of friends in Communion and Liberation, the topic of the “gaze of Christ” has come up multiple times.  How can I see Christ gently looking at me in my daily life?  How does He continue to call me and to gently lead me through my daily experiences?

This question has become increasingly important to me in recent days.  After three extremely busy weeks, I have moved back to Evansville, IN, and taken a teaching job at a wonderful elementary school with a beautiful parish.  It has been very overwhelming and rushed, with many things to do to prepare for the school year (which started a week and a half ago), as well as to move to a new city and a new home, unpacking boxes and getting settled.  It has become very easy for me to get caught up in the busyness and the day-to-day of the working world.  But thankfully, I have friends to remind me that it is in the everyday, in the simple gestures of this life, that we can truly see Christ calling us.

Throughout this time, I have had so many gentle reminders of His presence with me.  Even when I forget at times to turn to Him and thank Him for the gift of this job, the gift of a friend to live with, the gift of a beautiful house to share with her, there are little reminders to help me to stay on track.  I wanted to share just a few of the many little gestures, the times that I have recognized the gaze of Christ upon me:

*When two friends came over late at night to help my roommate to move her large furniture into the house (even after they had had a busy day themselves)

*So many teachers have popped in to my room just to see how I am doing and to see if I need anything

*A friend gave my roommate and I an amazing supply of leftovers so that we could feed guests at our house.  (He even brought a knife over later to cut a watermelon for us!)  From his perspective, he probably just wanted to get rid of those leftovers!  But for me, it was such a simple gesture of charity, that true love of Christ that offers anything that He has for another.

*A 5^th grade student in religion class, answering the question “In 3 sentences, can you tell me who Jesus is to you?” reminded me of the simple truth of my faith.  Her answer:  “Jesus is the good inside of everyone.  Some people just forget about it when they are mean.  I believe that everyone has the same amount of Jesus in them.  They just forget to show it.” 

As St. Therese of Lisieux said, we need to do small things with great love.  Thank you to those who have reminded me, even in this busy time of my life, that Christ is walking beside me, that His gaze is upon me, that I am not alone, and that every thing that I do is for Him. 

Saints, Seen and Unseen

I know this post is a bit delayed... but better late than never!!


I should probably begin by saying that I LOVE Saints. I will be the first to admit that I am no expert, but I have been learning about them like crazy in the past few years. Maybe it's due to the fact that I feel that was something we kind of glossed over in religion classes when I was in CCD, so I had to soak up the knowledge from other sources. Maybe it's because I am a person who cannot pass up a good story, and the saints offer no shortage of intriguing tales! Or maybe it's something else altogether. But whatever the reason, the saints simply fascinate me.

A Beautiful Weekend

So this weekend was a fairly crazy weekend. Having a full-time job, where I work 12 hour shifts fairly consistently, whenever I have days off, it seems to become very over-booked. This weekend, for example, consisted of volunteering at the Washington Catholic Schools bingo, where I had gone to high school, on Friday. On Saturday, I was able to share with my group of friends in walking the Buddy Walk for Smile on Down Syndrome. My siblings and I were able to lead the liturgy as musicians for the evening Mass, followed by a beautiful fire and weenie roast with my dad's extended family. Today (Sunday) consisted of waking up fairly early [since I was up late for the weenie roast] to help coordinate a picnic follow-up event for the Teens Encounter Christ movement.

Gut Feeling

For the past month or two, I have had a feeling that I simply cannot shake.

Now I must say, I have learned it is not prudent to put too much stock into "feelings" as a method of making big decisions and judging various aspects of life. But no matter what, I just have this gut feeling that something is going to happen in my life. Soon.